I suppose I'm Foolish when it comes to this....

As I was taking to a friend the other day (let's call her Sarah* (not real name)), she was telling me that her ex-boyfriend was in town and wanted to see her. If she was in a relationship, I would have told her not to see him. But since she was single and sassy, (and I knew that she missed him) I urged her to meet up with him. She didn't want to take my advice, even at my insistence, and that sparked a girl talk that dealt with our opposing views on the dreaded topic of The Ex: To be friends, or not to be friends, that is the question.

I've always been one to advocate being friends with an ex, as long as no one hates each other. Both times a relationship of mine ended, it ended amicably. Sure, I was wounded at first, but not enough to permanently distance myself from someone who was not only a partner but a best friend. I still wanted to occasionally talk to the phone, and occasionally hang out, even though he was no longer my boyfriend. My friends, mother, and ex-boyfriend all thought I was nuts (and I guess I am in this regard, hence the title of this post).  I also came across this article, interestingly enough.

To me, the romantic relationship can end without the friendship having to end at the same time. However, Sarah* told me that I was crazy, and that in order to truly move on, no one can be friends with an ex. And what's more, no one should even try to be. Sarah wondered why her ex wouldn't just "leave her alone." I replied that it was because he didn't want to lose her completely.

I have been in a relationship where honestly, I didn't want to get back together, but I still wanted that person in my life, to keep as a close friend and keep an eye on his love life. As long as neither of us was in another relationship, I didn't see why we couldn't still be involved in each others' lives.  I wondered why my ex-bf was distancing himself so completely, and I was afraid that we wouldn't talk again, so I tried to be broken-up-buddies.  I guess you can't have it both ways. I get it, but that sucks.

What do you think?  Should you be friends with the ex?  And how far should the cessation of communication go?  Should you de-friend him on facebook?  Remove his number from your phone?  Ignore him if he says hi on the street?  Avoid going to locations where you might run into him?  Slash his tires?  Share with me.