Top-Ten Styles That Should Go Away

Warning: Has the potential to offend a shitload of people. Do not read if you might take offense to your wardrobe. And please do not retaliate by criticizing my fashion sense (or lack thereof) in the Comments section.  Thank you.

    

1) Oversized Sunglasses

I don’t mean the big ones, though I don’t like those either, but the really HUGE ones?  Especially the huge round ones?  They look terrible and like some sort of insect. Spare me the Jackie Kennedy Onassis comparison.  Yes, the First Lady had impeccable style… in everything but sunglasses

                       

2) Leg Warmers

Who decided to remove these from the dance studio and unleash them on the streets? 

 

3) Harem pants.  I don’t care if they’re straight off a Chloé runway: they look like MC Hammer Pants.  Granted, when I was little I did want to look like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, but it wasn’t really the pants that made me feel that way.  Even then I recognized that they were unfashionably “puffy” as I called them.

  

4) Ugg Boots  Part of the unofficial school uniform at the University of Michigan that I had to suffer through and look at for four long years.   And what’s worse is wearing them in seasons other than winter, with tank tops, shorts, and even skirts. I was almost strong-willed enough to make it through this entire post without making reference to the hackneyed “Ugg/Ugly” comparison.  Amost. 

     

5) Big Glasses  Similar to #1, this style is my LEAST FAVORITE and is the least flattering).  These look good on NO ONE. Remember when you were a kid and you used to see pictures of Mom and Dad with the big glasses, and you used to laugh about it because they were so huge and looked ridiculous?  Well, news flash: they are back in style, and for some reason, you think they’re cool now.  They’re not.  They look geeky and in need of a mullet to complete the look.  If you really dig this style, I can respect it and more power to ya.  But I have a feeling that most people are only wearing them because Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, and other celebs started rocking them. And so everyone else followed suit, because most people are followers. Stop now before you look back on your old pictures when you’re older and bemoan the error of your fashion ways.  Why are we trying to look like Steven Q. Urkel?

 

6) Not matching

Why is it in style now to not match?  I saw a picture of a little black dress worn with bright yellow shoes and a purple handbag. And another new trend is for your bikini top to be completely different than the bottom.  Why?  What is the catalyst that has driven society to abandon uniformity?  Is it a sign of the times, in that young people are more rebellious and refuse to act (or in this case, dress) in the manner deemed acceptable to society?  Or is it really that people have gone mad….?

7) Bumps/Humps I've never been a fan of this hairstyle.  I’m not talking about a little bump, I mean a huge, add a foot to your height bump.

8) Acid-Washed jeans

If you need an explanation, I suggest you increase your dosage of medication or see a shrink.  By the way, there is no shame in seeing a therapist.  But there is great shame in wearing acid-washed denim for any reason other than the preservation of your own life.

9) Bright red lipstick

This is one of my more irrational pet peeves.  There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s just my personal opinion that less than 1% of women (regardless of complexion) can actually pull off red lipstick.  Red lipstick just does too much in my opinion.

   

10)  Anything worn by Lady Gaga, Though I respect her individuality and creativity as an artist, as a woman, and as a fellow human being, I don't understand her eccentricities.  But musicians are known for unconventional dress.  More about that later, when I post about my father :)

What about you guys?  What fashions do you hate?