You know he loves you when...

Warning: Gross content

A hallmark of being in love is that you typically think about your significant other often.  I've been thinking of Boyfriend a lot, but not just that I love him and that he loves me (sorry to trigger your gag reflex here) but how I know that he loves me.  As a result of this musing, I have prepared a list.  Beware, some of it is gross but at least I have the fucking guts to admit I'm human.  Don't act like you don't have bodily functions.  Anyway, all  flatulence and defecation jokes aside, I'm a lucky broad.  Here are the top 10 ways I know he loves me (in random order):


1) It's ok if I'm in between salon visits and my hairstyle makes me look like I'm a relative of Fredrick Douglass
2) He puts up with my occasional mood swings and crying spells
3) He listens.
4) He lets me watch shit like Say Yes to the Dress, What Not To Wear and Oprah sometimes, even if he's in the room (though he can't tolerate chick shows for very long)
5) He doesn't care if I go without shaving for longer than I should.  (Hirsute is not the new black, as much as women might like it to be)
6) I can fart around him, and we laugh about it and just go on about our business (unless the odor knocks us out, in which case we don't laugh but instead we patiently await resuscitation. (just joking; my farts aren't that bad at all, nor do they happen often, I swear.  Most of the time people don't even know when I pass gas)).
7) He loves the way I look (sans makeup) and says he wouldn't change anything about me (I still refuse to completely accept this as true completely but I try to give him the benefit of a doubt).
8) He's always there for me when I need him, and even if I don't "need" him but really want him for something, like picking up a few Cinnabons and a bacon burger on the way home.
9) He is always honest with me, even if the truth hurts
10) I can shit at his house and it's ok.  I don't have to wait until I get home like some of you people in "relationships."  I just go in the john and emerge, hanging my head in shame like nature intended.  In all seriousness though, if you can't go in someone's bathroom, blow it up, come back out and then laugh, joke, be merry and make out, then they don't deserve you.