Your opinions of my wedding planning are appreciated, but...

So my wedding is next year and, in conversations I've had recently, some things have come up.  It seems that people have some expectations, which is normal.  I am (mostly) conventional in other areas, so it makes sense that folks assume that I'm going to do certain things.  Most things about my wedding will meet people's expectations and will be the standard.  However, there are a few things that people want or expect me to comply with that I plan to ignore:

1) Cover my tattoos-- Sorry.  I don't care if you think they look classless with a wedding dress.    The only person I would consider covering my tattoos for is The Fiance, and he loves them.  You know what might also look bad? Smearing layer upon layer makeup all over your skin to cover your tattoos in order to achieve that "airbrushed" look, and then having makeup come off on your dress or on your new husband's hands.  My tattoos aren't large, colorful, or offensive anyway.  I don't have anyone's name tattooed on me, not even the man I'm marrying.  I know it's going to rub some people the wrong way (people's image of a blushing bride doesn't usually include ink) but too bad.  I'm going to have a traditional dress in a traditional church with a very long, traditional veil, but I'm also going to show my body modifications.  This also includes showing my piercings, which are likewise small and hardly noticeable.  You know why?  Because that's me.  I'm conservative at heart but I definitely have a little edge, which I'm sure you've gathered by the amount of swear words featured on this blog.

2) Wear heels--Nope.  No way.  Ignoring from the fact that I am six feet tall in a standard pair of heels and I don't walk well in them, I also want to be comfortable.  Even in college I wore flats 99% of the time, shaking my head with sympathy at the girls who winced in agony, each step sending a jolt of pain through their bodies during their walk of shame as the night wore on.  With the exception of the rare comfortable heel (finding a pair of comfy heels is akin to finding the Holy Grail), these shoes often put women through hell, leaving our feet all red, swollen and blistered.  No thanks.  Heels are cute but not worth the torture, especially because people expect me to dance the night away, which leads me to my next point.

3) The First Dance (as husband and wife)-- No.  It's possible that I might bend on this, but I'd rather not.  In most instances, I really don't like having all eyes on me.  Therefore it does not appeal to me to have an audience of over a hundred people looking at me and The Husband while we cascade about without anyone else on the dance floor to draw attention away from my awkwardness.  It's not because I can't dance.  I'm black so it's in my blood, after all.  It's just that I don't want everyone looking at me for that long.  Let's say the average song is about 4 minutes.  That's going to seem like an eternity if I am made to be a spectacle.  I plan to dance at the wedding, don't get me wrong.  I  just don't want to boogie if there's no one else around.  Then it feels like a performance instead of a fun activity.  The Fiance is totally on board with this one; he doesn't want the spotlight either.  I'm already going to have people gawking at me (and my disgraceful tattoos!) as I walk down the aisle; must I add to my misery?


4) Jump the broom-  Nobody who has known me for more than five minutes really expects me to do this (while I am proud of my culture and the rich historical legacy of the African diaspora and I grew up in the hood, I don't really uphold many--and by 'many' I mean 'any'--black traditions). In spite of that, a few people have still asked if I plan to include this in the ceremony. Yes, it's an old African-American tradition....  Rooted in slavery.  I've been to some black weddings where this has taken place.  Nothing wrong with it, if that's what you want.  But for me?  No thanks.  I'd rather leave slave traditions in the past.  There are other ways to incorporate black culture into my wedding, although the "blackest" thing about my nuptials will likely be an Al Green song.