Enlgihs Majors

(first things first: yes, I intentionally misspelled ‘English’ in the title. It was meant to be funny.)




As you probably know, I majored in English Language and Literature, and I minored in Philosophy, when I was in college. This post is sort of a rant about what I experienced during those university years, and what I still experience, even as an alumna. (unintentional teachable moment: if you’re an English major you’d know that “alumni” is plural and alumna/alumnus is the singular form; so whenever people say “I’m an alumni of ______” they are speaking incorrectly, because there are many alumni and only one alumnus/alumna.”)

But I digress. Being an English major gets me very little respect. Everyone appreciates my rich vocabulary and ability to issue witty retorts in many situations, and many appreciate the fact that they can ask me “What does _______ mean?” and I will most likely know the answer. Friends also appreciate it when I write edit their papers for them. But the choice to actually concentrate in English in college elicits disapproval. While I don’t expect the same awed response that follows the statement, “I studied astrophysics,” I still don’t appreciate how many people treat English like it’s an easy, bullshit major that just anyone can be successful in. What’s more, I don’t appreciate the assumption that I am unintelligent because I chose to major in English and not Nuclear Engineering or something related to the medical field.

It takes work to be an English major. Like I said, if you’re in the sciences, I’m sure you had it harder than I did, but I had a lot of work too. The easy part was writing multiple papers every week, including some that were fifty pages long and reading dozens of books (some of which were esoteric and contained language that only an English major or a book nerd could comprehend) every semester. The hard part was reading things in Old English. No, “Old English” is not Shakespeare. Shakespeare is easy. (although some of you Biology majors may not be able to comprehend that either) Old English precedes Shakespeare by a few hundred years. Old English is like another language. You try reading stuff like Paradise Lost, Faustus, Redcrosse Knight, or the Faerie Queene in its original form and see if it doesn’t make your head spin.

 Or, try reading Medieval English, which comes a little before Old English. Reading stuff from the Middle Ages in its original form takes even more skill.  For example, try reading the Lord's prayer in Middle English:


Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum

Si þin nama gehalgod

to becume þin rice

gewurþe ðin willa

on eorðan swa swa on heofonum.

urne gedæghwamlican hlaf syle us todæg

and forgyf us ure gyltas

swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum

and ne gelæd þu us on costnunge

ac alys us of yfele soþlice



Have I now earned your respect, motherfucker?


The assumption that I am somehow less intelligent because I chose to follow my passion and study English instead of opting to impress my peers by going to the school of medicine or architecture is unfair. I majored in English, but I also had to take math and science classes, all of which I was successful in (except that one where I only went to class twice the whole semester). Moreover, my high school offered eight AP classes, and I took six of them, which was more than any other student in school. The only APs that my school offered that I did not take were Spanish (I was already taking AP French) and Economics (I had no interest in it). I have been in schools for gifted students (albeit public, all-black schools in the 'hood) my entire life. So, I’m a pretty smart cookie. Don’t assume that I majored in English to take the “easy way out.”

I don’t regret majoring in English for several reasons, some of which include:

1) I know more big words than you will probably know in your lifetime. Ha-ha. I can be a pretentious little shit if I want to, throwing around words like filiopietistic, feckless, or fecund in regular conversation (although 99% of the time when I speak I am not trying to be the aforementioned pretentious shit; obscure words just pour out of me naturally). This can come in handy when meeting people for the first time who you want to impress: potential employers, the boyfriend’s parents, and the many students who assumed that I only got into college because of Affirmative Action, and some of the other people who have told me that they are so surprised that I am articulate and from Detroit (read: black).

2) While certain subjects like Calculus and Chemistry will never be useful to me in my profession and are only useful to certain people, English is useful to everyone no matter their job, because you will always need to know how to write, whether it is a resume, personal statement, cover letter, a written response of any kind, etc. So, while everyone needs to know how to read and write, I will never need to know how to do logarithms. Granted, everyone needs to know basic math skills too, but my point has been made: English is universal.

3) I can write well. This is a useful skill that people take for granted. Many people can’t put two sentences together properly. Writing takes talent. While some people are struggling to write essays for graduate school, I am not quite as stressed about that aspect of it. I'm stressed about my grades in certain classes, which reflect my laziness and poor attendance.

4) It’s more conducive to procrastination: See, while most of my friends in the sciences had homework due on a daily or almost daily basis, my papers were often assigned with ample time for completion. So, while I do have homework every day in terms of assigned reading, I may not have anything that I actually have to turn in to that particular professor for a couple of weeks. I suppose, then, that I can reluctantly admit that there is a certain level of bullshitting of which you can take advantage.

5) It’s fun. It’s more than reading D.H. Lawrence or pointing out misplaced apostrophe’s <---(like that one). It’s more than being anal about ‘your’ vs. ‘you’re’ or knowing when to use the word ‘farther’ and when to use the word ‘further’. It’s more than being disappointed that the song “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette does not give any real examples of irony, only examples of unfortunate circumstances. Being an English major is engaging, informative, it’s fun. I’m a nerd and a bookworm, and I love language.

So before you judge an English major, remember this post.  Don't assume that we are dumb or that we wasted our lives.  Thank you.